My Mental Health Journey Part 2

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING/CONTENT WARNING⚠️

🖤I am continuing to share my mental health story, because there are so many people who don’t get the mental health care they need. Two of the victims of #BlackLivesMatter were having a mental health episode in their last moments. #BlackMentalHealthMatters🖤

In 2010, I was taking a photography class, along with consistent journaling, I found a beautiful outlet that led me to start my own photography company, I was photographing weddings, and portraits. I had hobbies, a support system at home, school, medication, and great doctors. Despite this, in October, I hit rock bottom. I started experiencing thoughts of self-harm, wanting to ‘go home’, and say goodbye. One day, I didn’t harm myself to the extent that I needed medical attention, but that didn’t lessen the significance of what I did. No one could make sense of what I did, including myself. A few days later, I locked myself in the bathroom. My sister knew something was off, unlocked the door from the outside, & found me with a sharp object. I didn’t want to hurt myself, I couldn’t bring myself to, no matter how much my mind told me I needed to. Looking back, I didn’t want to leave my life, but at that moment I knew that something still wasn’t right with me. I needed more help. That evening it was decided I would be in an outpatient hospital until I was better. Instead of school, I went to the outpatient center, processed my emotions, along with other teens going through similar situations. Slowly, I got better. I was dressing up again, trying to interact, & wanting to go back to school. I found myself agreeing to wear purple with the rest of the girls. After a few weeks I was released but I was still under parental supervision at all times. I got a lot better with the help of medication, therapy, & an amazing support system. Each year around the same time of year, my depression and anxiety fluctuates. I would soon come to learn that this is called an ‘anniversary reaction. In 2012, I graduated high school, a day no one was sure I’d make it too, and started college. I thought my worst days were behind me. Until my 2nd anniversary reaction.

-Part 2/6